This summer I traveled back to the Blackfeet Reservation for
my second summer as the Kids Club Coordinator. In my mind I imagined how it
would be. I KNEW what that summer was gonna look like. But boy was I wrong. It
looked nothing like I “knew” it would. God had other things in store; He had
His plan in store.
And weeks later I sit Bible in hand and ponder; what
happened this summer? Why did it happen that way? What were you doing God? And
those are questions that I may never understand but here is what God has
revealed to me.
As I reflect back on Kids Club there are things I don’t
miss. Things like:
1. Being
punched in the face
2. Breaking
up fights
3. Having
my shirts stained with blood, snot, tears, and pee.
4. Bandaging
wound after wound.
5. Restraining
violent kids.
6. Chasing
kids that ran away.
7. Crying
tears of exhaustion after yet another long hard day.
Yet, I’ve learned that the very things that I “don’t miss”
are the things I miss the most.
I miss giving Tashan a loving hug after every angry episode.
I miss stroking his hair and praying for him. I miss seeing Jesus come in, in
those moments and replace all of his anger and rage with peace. I miss seeing
his beautiful smiling face as joy was restored to him.
I miss holding baby Pat in his soiled onesie. The pee
stained shirt wasn’t a big deal compared to seeing his smiling face upon my
shoulder.
I miss walking from one chaotic situation to the next, and
having Lancey boy run up and grab my hand declaring “I’m going with you Miss
Bonnie!”
I miss wiping noses and drying tears and bandaging wounds.
Because with each of those came a prayer. As I wrapped gauze about their knees
or put band-aids on owies I prayed for them. I prayed as I wiped noses clean
and tears away. I saw God come and comfort them, love them, and heal them.
I miss seeing God come in the midst of a battle. Each time a
kid punched or threw a rock at me another prayer went up and God came down. He
replaced anger with peace. He comforted and calmed them.
Everything I thought I hated about the summer is everything
I’m going to miss about it.
And as for answering the questions, I don’t know and I may
never know what God was doing this summer. But I cling to his promise in
Jeremiah “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”
God has a plan for my kids. He has a plan for Blackfeet. And
He has a plan for me.
Despite the fact that I don’t have all the answers or full
understanding I will continue to Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; and in
everything give thanks. For that is God’s will for me in Christ Jesus. (1
Thessalonians 5:18)
