Blackfeet Summer 2012

This summer I traveled back to the Blackfeet Reservation for my second summer as the Kids Club Coordinator. In my mind I imagined how it would be. I KNEW what that summer was gonna look like. But boy was I wrong. It looked nothing like I “knew” it would. God had other things in store; He had His plan in store.

And weeks later I sit Bible in hand and ponder; what happened this summer? Why did it happen that way? What were you doing God? And those are questions that I may never understand but here is what God has revealed to me.

As I reflect back on Kids Club there are things I don’t miss.  Things like:

1.     Being punched in the face

2.     Breaking up fights

3.     Having my shirts stained with blood, snot, tears, and pee.

4.     Bandaging wound after wound.

5.     Restraining violent kids.

6.     Chasing kids that ran away.

7.     Crying tears of exhaustion after yet another long hard day.

Yet, I’ve learned that the very things that I “don’t miss” are the things I miss the most.

I miss giving Tashan a loving hug after every angry episode. I miss stroking his hair and praying for him. I miss seeing Jesus come in, in those moments and replace all of his anger and rage with peace. I miss seeing his beautiful smiling face as joy was restored to him.

I miss holding baby Pat in his soiled onesie. The pee stained shirt wasn’t a big deal compared to seeing his smiling face upon my shoulder.

I miss walking from one chaotic situation to the next, and having Lancey boy run up and grab my hand declaring “I’m going with you Miss Bonnie!”

I miss wiping noses and drying tears and bandaging wounds. Because with each of those came a prayer. As I wrapped gauze about their knees or put band-aids on owies I prayed for them. I prayed as I wiped noses clean and tears away. I saw God come and comfort them, love them, and heal them.

I miss seeing God come in the midst of a battle. Each time a kid punched or threw a rock at me another prayer went up and God came down. He replaced anger with peace. He comforted and calmed them.

Everything I thought I hated about the summer is everything I’m going to miss about it. 

And as for answering the questions, I don’t know and I may never know what God was doing this summer. But I cling to his promise in Jeremiah “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”

God has a plan for my kids. He has a plan for Blackfeet. And He has a plan for me.

Despite the fact that I don’t have all the answers or full understanding I will continue to Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; and in everything give thanks. For that is God’s will for me in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)